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im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
It`s a little known made up fact of mine that 40% of the air inside a Taco Bell is just farts.
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering every question!!!
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
Drinking always starts out as the best idea you’ve ever had.
If I live to be 100, I`m gonna make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people. Like, I ate a pine cone, or drank olive oil every single day...
May your life one day be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women