Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There`s a nap for that.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
"mommy watch this!" is the toddler equivalent of "hold my beer and watch this"
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
My wife can find a stain on my shirt from across the room but can`t see the mailbox when she`s backing up?
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I`d have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again.
It`s ok to admit when you`re wrong. Just don`t tell anyone.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
The beeping noise from microwave is always 100x’s louder at night.
I believe in living every day like it`s my last day, and on my last day, I plan to take it easy.
You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn`t murdered her
Finding a needle in a haystack is quite easy if you just set the hay on fire.
Oh... the look on the Home Depot associate`s face when I asked him if the pruning shears will cut through bone... priceless.