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So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
Why don`t we ever hear anyone bragging about their Allstate safe driving bonus checks?
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Just been wondering what "please Do Not Touch" would be in Braille
After how long is it ok to tell your friends that they are imaginary?
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
Time travel means never having to say you`re sorry...
thumbs up if you pee on the side of the toilet to make it quiet.
"Well, now I see how you came up with the word `Microsoft`." -Melinda Gates (on their wedding night)
I tried counting sheep to get to sleep, but one was missing and now I’m gonna be up all night worrying.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
I put the PRO in inappropriate!
You`d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.