Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey dude who flipped me off in the Subway parking lot for honking at you, you left your dinner on top of your car.
Why periods? Why can`t Mother Nature just text me and be like, "Whaddup Girl?, You ain`t pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to ya next month."
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
The thing I miss most about being young is knowing everything.
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
I suffer from premature procrastination. Itβs when you procrastinate before even receiving a task.
lf the people in the movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you`ll eventually have a sweet flip phone.
Who`s more foolish, a fool or the person who takes a fool`s advice?
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.