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If you think you`re bad with words, imagine the first guy to say "There there" when consoling someone
"Grow a pear." - How to insult an apple tree.
You know it`s good advice, when your still confused afterwards.
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
Don`t be embarrassed by who you are. Unless you`re stupid. Then you`re pretty much screwed.
I`m great in bed....i can sleep for days.
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
The problem with today`s children is that today`s parents are idiots.
Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.
It’s amazing how easily “I have 10 minutes to waste before I need to leave” accidentally turns into “oh crap I’m running late.”
People say I`m too patronising (that means I treat them as if they`re stupid).
You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.