Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My car is so old the high beam switch is on the floor...
Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
The awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single.
My neighbor just spent $237.43 at the vet, that`s $1,662.01 in dog dollars.
Is it "I febreezed my crotch" or "I febroze my crotch"?
Care less and you’ll stress less.
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel. The police call it “Indecent Exposure” but whatever.
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
"I knew that..." -Me, after every Jeopardy question.
I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.
for every like, I will fart on my wife face