Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
A golden rule to live by: Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics!
Just...sitting...thinking...planning my next move to get that new roll of toilet paper about 5 feet away from me.
So, when people say "LOLZ", does that mean they laughed themselves to sleep?
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
Everyone’s an optimist when it comes to their car’s fuel gauge.
Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That`s like Stevie Wonder giving driving directions to Ray Charles.
Q: What is the best thing God ever created? A: The vagina. Q: What was the worst thing God ever did? A: Put women in charge of them.
Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my lovers hair. It`s a nice way to let them know my love and also that we`re out of napkins.