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I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "The Illuminaughty"
I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
Men, if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
Marijuana is a type of flower, therefore I am a florist not a drug dealer :p
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Red, Trees Are Red ... F*ck? my gardens on fire!
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
Remember the good ole days when we had to get out of bed to use the Internet.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
If you`re not employed by the Secret Service, there is absolutely no reason to have a Bluetooth on your ear.
The grass is always greener where the bodies are buried.