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Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
As long as there is an open textbook in front of you, nobody will question what you are doing on your laptop.
My life is the intersection between having too much caffeine and constantly yawning.
Blood moon, shooting stars....I gotta move to a safer galaxy
I only use elevators for one thing. Surprise group hugs
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It`s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
It´s not that I hate you, it´s just.. well I´ll put it this way.. if you were on fire & I had water, I´d drink it.
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do... And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘to speak badly of`.
My Retirement Plan hinges on having at least one successful kid.
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
Don`t text me while I`m texting you. Now I have to go back and change my text.