Daily Silly Status

Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn

It`s hard to make your coffee when you haven`t had your coffee.

Now what`s funny is "Si" from Duck Dynasty

I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret

I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.

Imagine how fun Pringles would be if the cans were spring-loaded.

"Turtle Power" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently.

I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.

I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

I bet wrecking ball operators are some of the happiest people in the world.

Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs to, and the fact that a Facebook reminder told me it was your birthday doesn´t make it any less special. Plus I live so far away that your birthday requires almost no effort on my part. And sorry I tried to kill you all those times when we were

If a cop pulls over a U-Haul, he`s trying to bust a move.

I can’t tell if I’m hungry, but better eat just in case.

You’re not important enough to have haters. You just have a few people who notice you’re an a$$hole.