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Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
I tried to make both ends meet, but I`m a poor judge of distance.
justin bieber
Moving all my retirement funds into a Colorado snack machine franchise.
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
You can save a lot of money by walking face-first into a spiderweb every morning instead of buying coffee.
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
The closest I`ve come to camping was that one time when I fell asleep in the bushes outside your window with my camera.
If you can`t read the bottom of the eye chart, spell something dirty. Eye doctors love that sh!t.
College is the only time in which being poor and drunk is acceptable.
When parents on Facebook post about how they can`t believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write "No way! I thought for sure he`d be held back!"
I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.
Lets just skip the fight and go right to the make-up sex.