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We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
I accidentally wore green today. And I probably will be drunk later but NOT because it`s St. Patrick`s Day, because it`s Monday.
As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
To-Do List: Nothing [?]
The person that named the eggplant probably isn’t allowed to name things anymore.
This town is about as exciting as watching an M&M melt in the sun.
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
I`ve officially reached the point in my life where the trash goes out on Friday nights way more often than I do.
If I could time travel, I`d make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You`re making a scene."
My thoughts should be ashamed of themselves.
Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
Don`t take nude pics. Problem solved.