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Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
I worry about the future because I know my friends that are teachers.
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
You look like I need another drink
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
Police ordered me to get out of my car `You`re staggering` said the officer .`you`re not to bad looking yourself` I replied
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
When I was a teenager, a "selfie" meant something totally different than it does today.
I will never forget the day when she said yes to me because that was the last time we agreed on anything.
I farted in the apple store and everyone got pissed, not my fault they dont have windows ...
Its better to have loved and lost, then stay with that psyco for one more sec