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Geez. I make one little mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds.
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, “Who ate my kale?”
Me asking if you want anything from Starbucks is my way of telling you I am going to be very, very late
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
about love
I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over.
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
I just want to be perfect... Nah just kidding, I love being weird
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)
awesome collection!
Nothing`s more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me.
I’m actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me.