Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
Why didn`t you tell me that I wasn`t going to like you
Honestly, it`s not the way I look that reveals my age. It`s my use of complete sentences, proper grammar and spelling when I text.
"Baby on Board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know. I was about to ram into your car but now I won`t.
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak.
Strip search? ... Fine, but I`m going to need some background music.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
The girls who don’t get a rose on The Bachelor should automatically get a cat.
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
Scared the mailman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or that I knew where he lived.