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Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
Since I`m getting older I`ve been thinking about my health. Should I work out 2 hrs a day like Jack Lalanne who was 96? Or smoke cigars like George Burns who lived to be 100?
I`m allergic to gluten free diets.
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I`d have 27 dollars and 15 cents.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
From what I can gather, men hit their sexual peak around age 18. And women hit theirs as soon as the divorce is final.
You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
"What doesn`t kill you makes you smaller." -Super Mario
I bet the first person that heard a parrot talk really lost their sh!t.
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry