Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Any of you girls wanna come over tonight for pizza and sex? ... I`m just kidding. There`s no pizza.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
I`ve found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock, people expect less of you.
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
I don`t mind being wrong, as long as nobody knows.
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”.
I can`t afford a therapist so i bought a mood ring
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
Job interview tip: repeatedly ask if you`re under oath
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
The one thing you can always count on is your fingers.