Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don`t make a right. Tomorrow I`m going to try three.
I remember, once upon a time... for about 2 seconds... about 13 years ago... I almost gave a damn.
Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
Half the lies they tell about me aren`t true
When I win the lottery, the first thing I`m going to buy is a pot to piss in. I`ve always wanted one of those.
Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it.
Caterpillars have it made. They eat a lot, go to sleep, then wake up beautiful.
Don’t get me wrong. I totally hear what you’re saying…I just don’t care.
If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don`t think this relationship is going to work.
“We don`t lick people!” - Lies adults tell kids
Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
The closest I`ve come to camping was that one time when I fell asleep in the bushes outside your window with my camera.
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor`s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right
I think I may have misunderstood my boss yesterday when she told me that she wanted to see me hard at work
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.