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I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
This lady thinks repeatedly pushing the already-lit elevator button will summon it faster. I think I’ll push ALL the buttons when we get in.
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
I wonder if people without dogs actually pick food off the floor?
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
Currently helping my son look for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.
Sorry I can`t make it to your party tonight- I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow afternoon.
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
Apparently my "Please STFU" face bears a strong resemblance to my "Oh, Please Keep Talking" face.