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Life can be like Chess sometimes. I don`t know how to play Chess.
Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
When I`m bored, I dress up as Waldo, walk up to strangers (in a crowded airport), and say "psssst... if ANYBODY asks......YOU ain`t seen me... capiche?"
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I`ve gotta go find my clothes.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…. I miss teleporting. It never happens to me anymore.
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
My friend bought some new floral underwear today. I asked her why she bought `floral` underwear to which she replied "its in memory of all the faces that have been buried there".
If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I`d have enough money to invest in a hitman
I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn`t be allowed to leave Wal Mart.
Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you`ve got alzheimers.