Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE: Oh... I have nothing to say, I just crave the spotlight.
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!
I thought about cleaning my room this weekend but didn`t do it. Then I remembered its the thought that counts so I feel better now
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
I`m painting a blue square in my garden, so that Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
The only difference between sex and breakfast is sometimes I don`t want breakfast.
Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
I saw this homeless guy talking to himself and I was like, "Who is he talking to?" then I thought "Who am I talking to?"
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
If two wrongs don`t make a right, try three.
Tried to donate blood today but they had too many questions about where I got it.
I don`t need a New Years Resolution, I`m already awesome!
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on