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Meanwhile, Somewhere farther down on your timeline, your aunt just posted the "Footprints" poem on your wall again.
I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.
Damn it. I missed the number of the day on Sesame Street and now I don`t know how many pills to take.
I need new swear words.
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
I never tell god how big my problems ,,, I tell my problems how big my god is
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
Did you hear about the Cannibal that "passed" his Uncle in the Jungle?...............
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
Buying my wife a matching belt and bag for her birthday. We`ll have that vacuum cleaner working in no time.
Don`t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
My daughter said, "You`re the best mommy ever!" I`m really proud that she`s learning sarcasm at such a young age.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
For your final meal request to eat the electric chair and then the warden will be like well now what do we do he ate our electric chair