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I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
Me putting up with you is your Christmas present.
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
There`s a certain age where you can no longer use the term "Good girl gone bad". It`s more like "Her old a$$ should know better"
Hmmmm, thats odd. . . .According to this height / weight chart. . . . I`m too short.
If your girlfriend claims to never look at your Facebook profile, change your status to "single" and wait 5 minutes.
Blue&Black or White&Gold? Who cares what color the dress is, so long as its balled up on the floor of my bedroom.
Coffee is just a hug for your insides.
What supermarket did the pilgrims visit to purchase their canned gelatin cranberry sauce? I want my Thanksgiving to be authentic.
People who live in bouncy castles shouldn’t throw darts.
I don’t mean to brag but when I’m at the Taco Bell drive thru placing my order, I don’t even look at the prices.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we`d still be talking about how we`re not finding that airplane.
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.
Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned.