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I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
Sometimes it takes me 8 hours to get nothing done.
Is it too early for extra nog in my egg?
I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
I think the only way I`ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I`m in prison.
Do you ever just sit there and think “why am I not rich”?
sex is like a joke, some get it some don`t.....
I`m not fat. My stomach is in 3D
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
This healthy diet thing is dangerous. I just cut myself peeling an apple. This would have never happened to me with a twinkie.
I can’t decide if the drinks are too weak or if my tolerance is too strong.
I`ll sell my broken watch when the time is right.