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This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
Laugh now because when I die, I`m coming back to haunt you.
Dear parents of college students on Spring Break, Congrats! Many of you are about to be grandparents!
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you have a person in your basement."?
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
I really worry about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools.
For my next trick, I’ll turn this 12 pack of beer into drunk dialing/texting.
I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?
My rabbit died yesterday… Now he’s just some bunny that I used to know…