Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always knew that one day I`d end up face-down in the gutter. I just didn`t expect everyone to keep on bowling...
Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is.
I`m a bitch ... What`s your excuse?
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
Do NOT accept friend requests from Hormel Foods, it could be spam...
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.
I haven`t crunched all the numbers, but early calculations show that a large percentage of people don`t care what you think.
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
Lawns: You cut them, then water them so they grow just so you can cut them again. This does not make sense.
No. My hair magically got shorter.
Don’t be scared of making changes. Be scared of living the same shitty life because you didn’t change. And spiders. Be scared of them too.