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real eyes realize real lies
As a kid, i was afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I am terrified of the electrical bill.
Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
Sorry I cancelled at the last minute, but it took me forever to think of an excuse I hadn`t used yet.
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
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It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
No cowboy in the world can out draw a grandmother pulling a baby picture out of her wallet.
My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I`m proud of him, I doubt he`ll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.