Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“Nevermind.” Translation: You should’ve listened the first time.
Starting an international incident is number one on my bucket list.
According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
I hope the next big trend in music is Talent.
If a woman asks if you "notice anything new" tell her "I do, your beauty surprises me every day." Then continue thinking about velociraptors
When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"
Do you remember that creepy guy who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
Whoever said “two wrongs don’t make a right” has obviously never experienced McDonalds breakfast after a night of binge drinking.
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to "grow up," I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
I never let anyone see me eat junk food. Not because I`m afraid they will judge me. I just don`t want to share.
once you delete your birthday from Facebook, you realize no-one ever gave a sh!t about you all along!
No matter how compelling and convincing the other person’s argument is, you can always win a debate by adding “yeah, but still” at the end.