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Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
Is a roasted peanut like a regular peanut that was made fun of by celebrity peanuts?
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
I`m glad I`ve got boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
If you need me I`ll always be stuck behind the person who doesn`t know how to use the CVS self-checkout aisle.
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
How can I learn to be more patient? (I`m only interested in quick-fix solutions with immediate results please)
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
Thank god we don`t send messages with pigeons anymore. Where would I find 200 pigeons every day?
Can you imagine if Facebook and Twitter just decided to shut down and you see all these confused people coming out of their house squinting at the sun.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center?