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Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
I think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader.........
Ideal roommate: Someone not smart enough to know they are paying 80% of the rent.
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
The best thing about falling down when you`re home alone is that you can just lie on the floor and take a nap.
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
If you go shopping at Walmart and no one stares at you as you walk by, you`re one of them.
With all the technology available now, you’d think they’d have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.
When I was a kid I remember I fell asleep in the couch and woke up in the bed, now I fall asleep in the couch and wake up on the floor.
Marriage. The world`s oldest form of identity theft.
Uses 3 gallons of water to rinse out yogurt container so it can go into recycling bin
I`d like to thank Tetris for making me really good at loading my dishwasher.
Being human is expensive and exhausting.