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Drying out wet fireworks in the oven is not a good idea. Trust me on this
What does Miley Cyrus have for dinner on Christmas? Twerky :`)
Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.
For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"
Actually baby, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.
Go home Polar Vortex....yer drunk.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to "grow up," I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
Please God cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again, also please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again.