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Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
Bought some cheese at one of those fancy cheese shops today. It was legend dairy...
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
Sometimes I like to play God and just ignore everyone when they talk to me.
I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"…
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
They say you need about 2000 calories a day. Ok, time to do math. 65 calories in one fluid ounce of Jack Daniel`s means i need 30 shots tonight.
I`ve found that the things I`m most interested in aren`t really in my best interest.
The thing I miss most about being young is knowing everything.
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.