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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5`9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eggs
I used to be a terrible flirt ... I am much better at it now.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
Yes, I talk to myself...Yes, I answer myself and Yes, I argue with myself....and the makeup sex is awesome.
I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is “love,” but it’s actually “floor”
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
Missed connection: I was a 15 year old boy, you were 1984 Madonna.
Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I`m calling Santa!"
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
Send me one more game request and I`m showing up at your house drunk, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister