Daily Silly Status

You know your ugly when the dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg

India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.

Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about

From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.

Two years ago I became a proud parent. My kid is 6, but they were kind of a pain those first four years.

I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)

My friend told me he wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don`t think he`d be a good secret agent.

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

A married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy

I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision.

B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.

Pretending to be nice is exhausting...

Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.

The easiest way to escape a conversation is to interrupt the other person and say "this conversation is going great" every few seconds

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.