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Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
Iām starting to think plates are called china because most of them look the same.
When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
Tequila... cuz the bed isn`t goin to spin itself!
Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement
A computer losing its internet access is the equivalent of a car running out of gas, both become useless.
Women have all the answers, to all of your questions, and you don`t even have to ask.
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
Does anyone have plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?
You know you`re desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of Google.
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
If you think husbands aren`t good listeners, whisper "Come here, I`m naked" from anywhere in the house and see what happens.