Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If gas prices keep going up I`m cutting off the bottom of my car and I`m "Flintstoning" That mf!
“Over my dead body” doesn’t mean “no.” It means I get to do what I want and as a bonus I get to kill you.
They say love is in every corner... my life must be a f*cking circle!
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
That annoying feeling when you finally downloaded the movie you wanted to watch and BOOM!... It`s in French. #F**kYouFrance
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
When I see someone walking more than one dog I always think, "wow, that person must be really blind."
God is creative... I mean look at me??
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
lifes a laugh, start living it!
It`s gonna be hotter than Billy Ray Cyrus after watching his daughters performance on the VMA`s tomorrow!
I`m just 1 nap, 8 beers, 2 orgasms and my own personal robot away from this being the best day ever.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
You can`t be late until you show up
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.