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When we are small, our mom`s would use really small forks as spoons to feed us...But what about Chinese moms? Would they use toothpicks?
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
Helpful Tip: When your wife ask whats on TV, don`t say dust.
Scientists say the Universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons... They forgot to add Morons.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
I used to have a life. Then some idiot came along and said "Why don’t you make a Facebook account? It`s fun".
i just caught a disease so rare that even i dont have it .
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
I think we`ll be friends forever because we`re too lazy to find new friends.
The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behavior
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
Most of life is waiting for whatever you`re at to be over.
On the 14th of December I`m going to call people and say "7 Days" then hang up...
Beer: The WD40 for conversations.
Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine deprivation.