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I`m boycotting Kix cereal because of all that kid testing.
Nothing like responsibility to ruin a perfectly good day.
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
Does anyone know when is the cut-off date to stop wishing someone Happy New Years?
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
Does "who cares" count as advice?
Wow, I didn`t know my ex was into orgies until I saw the ad on Craig`s list I just posted.
Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don`t use words like "East."
Dear Life, Please, use a Lubricant.
Go ahead, post sober. Ruin everything.
If you wear your old prom dress to the pharmacy, they`ll fill your antidepressants faster.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Moral compass? Is there an app for that?
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.