Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened the refrigerator and thought, What am I doing inside the refrigerator?
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
I haven`t been drinking. I know what day it is. I didn`t lose my pants. This might be my car. I know how to drive. -Lies I`ve told to cops.
I don`t think we do get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do.
If I ran my legs as much as I did my mouth, I`d be in fantastic shape.
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
Girls who don`t get naked when you`re drunk.. Explain yourselves.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
I do love you for your mind, I just like your mind a lot more when you’re naked.
Good morning friends … Wait … what the hell m I doing up this early?
My wife says I should use the term "make love" instead of "f*ck.". What the make love is she talking about?
It´s never to late to be happy
when in Rome get naked ;)
Hey, chicks who have words tattooed on your tits... We didn`t come here to read.