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Give Me A Minute While I Pretend To Care!
How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
I propose a toast to the booze for making life seem tolerable.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
Dear Maytag: Why don`t your dryers have a Fold cycle? It`s 2018 for chrissake!
I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
I seem to start my day backwards. I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.
I don`t think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we`re both pointing at the same tornado.
Single women come home, see what`s in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what`s in the bed and go to the fridge.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
I need to start eating more healthy, but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it’s not there to tempt me anymore.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
I don`t understand the saying "you snooze you lose"... I hit the snooze button 8 times this morning and feel like a champion.