Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
You health nuts are gonna feel real stupid when you`re laying in the hospital dying of nothing.
Men are a lot like kids, if you want to shut them up, put a boob in their mouth.
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn`t pay attention to.
We should start seeing Valentine`s Day crap in the stores any minute now.
There’s no worse feeling than realizing your wife has fallen asleep & you’ve spent the last 20 minutes watching Real Housewives by yourself.
Heck, I can tell which people are really judgmental just by looking at them.
Facebook - the place where you can whine and get likes for it...
If I was rich, I´d do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner.
Some life lessons are so profound; you only need to do them one time. Putting Icy Hot on my balls, for example …
What`s the opposite of wanting to hear about you doing crossfit? I`m that.
It`s called NASCAR because that`s the way a hillbilly pronounces "nice car"
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?