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really vry funny
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
If you want to get me to do something, bribery does work.
Just had workplace violence training. It`s like HR doesn`t even care about the first rule of fight club.
Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.
I just broke my record for most days lived.
Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music off the internet.
Apparently, when people say "I could use a hand" it doesn`t mean they want to get slapped in the face.
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
Just got back from a job fair. Very disappointed. They didn`t have one damn ride.
I`m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
My bedroom is perfect for a one night stand, but there’s no room for two night stands.
Shoplifting may be wrong in a general sense, but what if, for example, I`m bored of paying for things