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Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
people say i talk in my sleeep , but no one at work seems to notice
English = Hello. Spanish = Hola. French = Bonjour. Japanese = Konnichiwa. Chinese = Nî Hâo. Italian = Ciao. Me = Sup B*tches.
I`m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.
I`ve been single so long now I don`t remember what it`s like for someone to be mad at me for something I didn`t even know it did!
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
Some parts of the world use Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. Me? I just want you all to know how delicious my sandwich is.
"Wish You Were Beer!" Wait...no...that`s right...send.
If I was a Chinese millionaire I would change my name to Cha Ching.
On a scale of 1-10, I give this day a middle finger.
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
The only solution to a problem is to find the source and Kill it.
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.
Thanks to the words “dude”, “bro”, and “man”, I haven’t said my best friends name in 10 years.