Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
Whenever I’m bored I stop a stranger and ask “where am I?” and whatever they say I runaway screaming “Hahaha I’m a genius! I can teleport!”
The average fight between men lasts 3 minutes. The average fight between women lasts 17 years.
There’s a bald spot in my yard so I’m gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
Ever seen a person so disgusting you hold your breath when you walk by them? Yea I have.
Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things. ;) Just Sayin`
I don`t have to run faster than the lion, I just have to run faster than you.
I like to start my morning off with a good nap.
Who needs the weather network when you have Facebook.
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
I wish my bladder had a snooze button.
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
I woke up praying McDonald`s would still be serving breakfast but I just missed it by 6 hours.
Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT