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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
My support group can outdrink your support group.
"You`re as crazy as your mother" is the last thing I remember saying before waking up in intensive care
Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding… that the other person is a complete idiot!
Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
Just as I predicted, today was in fact a new day!
Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy…you just hoped nobody found out.
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
If you`ve never actually got dressed, got in your car & pretended to drive "to work" to get a chick to leave your house then you`re not me.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid`s vomit.
Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I passed were green so I had to stop on the side of the road to check my Facebook like some caveman.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.