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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
Whenever I check my weight, I always subtract 5 pounds. I don`t think that boobs and brains this fabulous should count against me.
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
I`m a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker
The way I figure it, whatever doesn’t kill me has lost it’s chance.
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
Nascar would be so more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
This jar of peanut butter says "may contain nuts" on it. Remember when survival of the fittest was a thing? Good times.
When children shy away, I say, "I don`t bite. Not hard anyway!" Then I laugh and bite them hard. They need to understand life`s not easy.
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.