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They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.
In alcohol`s defense, I`ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too.
I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
I always shout "PIZZA`S HERE" so the delivery guy doesn`t think I`m eating two pizzas by myself.
When my boss says, "women of a certain age" then looks at me, it`s ok to stab her with a letter opener, right?
Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you`ve made in their life. It`s not me. I think your an idiot.
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
Jehovah`s witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
No, I did not forget my password. I distinctly remember it being 8 asterisks.
I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.
First rule of Pizza club, you don’t share it.