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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
Jimmy is short for James? This is where I think English is stupid. They have the same number of letters. Do they even know what short means?
Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
Men, if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year. Spend a little extra for a really good one ... Just tring to help.
If you don`t have anything nice to say, put it all on social networks
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
If a girl picks an iron in monopoly you know she`s a keeper
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
Hey Lady!, I just deposited $43 dollars in THIS bank.. DON`T FROWN AT ME WHEN I TAKE 3 SUCKERS!