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I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
I`m still kinda pissed that they never did tell us how to get to sesame street
Let’s get naughty and save Santa the trip.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.
Pay no attention to the device around my ankle.
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
Him: What to play Trivial Pursuit? Her: Sure, But I,m not that smart. Him: What to play strip Trivial Pursuit?
Talk to your kids about drugs. Maybe they have better connections than you.
I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.