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Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.
If I owned an auto collision shop, I’d name it “Auto Correct.”
For fun, I steal my married friends phones & change my name to `Brandy from the club` then repeatedly call them & hang up at 3am.
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a break and enter.
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
Plastic surgeons are the only people that actually encourage you to pick your nose.
Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
Handy tip for new parents : Wake up your baby by gently resting your head on a pillow.