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"I have almost $67 in the bank!" sounded a lot more impressive when I was 12.
Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means he can eat anything off the floor if he waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization.
Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
The fox says you need to stop.
My mom wanted to talk to me about my maturity today, but she didn`t know the password to my secret fort.
So glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how much I’m understanding what other people are saying.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid