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I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this...
Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
I just encountered a spider bigger than my desire to be the man of the house.
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
I`m kind of like Hugh Hefner. Only without the mansion, the exotic cars, the girls, the magazine and the money. Basically, I`m just a guy in a bathrobe.
I hate when a website has a picture that you can click and enlarge. Then the "enlarged picture" is the same exact size as the thumbnail!
Those 5 donuts I ate are really going to give me an extra boost during my workout today.
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!
The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you`re talking to drugs, it`s probably too late to say no to them.
I just made my first snow angel!! ... Ok fine.. I got bored, got drunk and then passed out in the snow, whatever!
The Olympians stories are amazing! The Ukrainian whose family was killed, the Korean who escaped slavery, the American who never had wifi.