Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Truthfully officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over, if I known all you were gonna do is complain about my driving.
I think I need to return my GPS...no matter what it can`t help me find easy street
The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
If you got up this morning and ran straight to fb i am 100% POSITIVE its because you missed me.
According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.
I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
One of my favorite discoveries about adulthood is that there are literally no rules stopping you from eating an entire row of Oreos at once.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I`m not mean to poor people, like I am now.
I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest…just not more than I don’t want to.
Sometimes I sit and wonder what the world would be like if I wasn`t awesome ... That would be scary.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
Ever notice that the first 10 seconds of a medical drug commercial is spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest basically daring you to take it?
If you enter a room and there`s no food, you`re in the wrong room.