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My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home ... right?
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
If I don’t talk to myself, who will?
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
I got the girl to hysterically laugh today just by asking her out for a date.
Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
You know someone has a drinking problem when they go to the bar at 5pm, you know you have a drinking problem when you`re already there.
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.
I just did a weeks worth of cardio after I walked into a spider`s web.