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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
If it’s called tourist season, why can’t you shoot at them?
I`m not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat`s hair grows back.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for stupid people.
You’re not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone.
If I could have anything in the world it would be to have the same finger prints as my enemy
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
"Bros before hoes" is something a bro without a hoe would say.
Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don’t even know it.
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
Guys, if she says she’s crazy, she’s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
No officer I wasn’t texting, that’s dangerous. I was checking my email.
If two donuts are stuck together it counts as one right?