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Just got a message that said "Hey, I tried to call you"...that`s your problem right there....you should have never tried that.
My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.
You left a note on the fridge saying "This isn`t working. Goodbye" but I opened it and it was working perfectly well. I don`t get it.
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
Ha, SUCKA`S! I just smuggled a bag of popcorn into the movie theater. Now I just need to borrow their microwave.
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
Treasure the years with your children while they are still distracted by bubbles.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
When I was a teenager, a "selfie" meant something totally different than it does today.
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
When you send food back to the kitchen, you`re basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
"Iām definitely going to do that tomorrow.ā ā Me being delusional