Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People who think Iām not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.
Sometimes, I wish I could fast forward the time just to see if in the end it`s all worth it.
My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it.
There is really no way of knowing how many chameleons are in the room right now.
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key
Do handjobs from girls who speak sign language count as blowjobs
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
I would gladly believe in a religion that gives me free pizza and says people who squeeze the toothpaste tube from the center go to hell.
Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?
Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."
A smile is the same in every language, I`m pretty sure the pee pee dance is too
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.