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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
I find it ironic that it takes 12 steps to get a beer out of my fridge.
for some reason my plans to workout never work out
When one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted.....
*Food hits floor* Little Germs: “Let’s get it!”King Germ: “No, we must wait 5 seconds!”
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
The way I figure it, whatever doesn’t kill me has lost it’s chance.
The only time I`ve ever early to anything is when I`m dropping my kids off to be watched by somebody else.
I`m God`s gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
1. OMG will this ever end? 2. OMG will this ever end? 3. OMG will this ever end? - top 3 things on my mind when I`m in a conversation
I can make your gf scream louder than you can. - Spider
Think about how much more stressful life`s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
A wasp just landed on my balls. Hardest decision of my life.
There`s been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...