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not to brag but I finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes.
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
Forget the hero part, I just like the fact that Batman punches clowns.
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
My therapist says I`m paranoid, which is exactly what you might expect from a shapeshifting lizard hired by the CIA to track my whereabouts.
It’s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
Being sick is your bodies way of saying “Hey, you really need to catch up on some TV”.
Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I`m confused about how many at night?
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!
Ladies, don`t date him just because his dad has a yacht. Date the dad.