Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Hell hath no fury like me when I’m slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
Health experts recommend a 1500 calorie diet. For those of you not good with math... that’s a 12-pack of 125 calorie beers. You`re welcome!!! ;)
I hate when I’m alone in the dark and my brain says, β€œHey, you know what we haven’t thought about in a while? Ghosts..”
You`re either part of the solution, or you`re one of my coworkers.
If I could keep it short, my life would be so much simpler.
Three words to ruin a woman`s ego. "I can`t tell."
I know two wrongs don`t make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I`m like on 756.
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
If you can`t handle your alcohol I would gladly help you out
Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich!
"How`s phone reception in the bathroom?" is an important question, but one you just can`t ask on a job interview.
Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want ... cause you`re not driving.
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even I’m not sure if I’m kidding or not.
β€œHave you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist