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"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
You’d think “attractive neighbor leaves curtains open” would appear in more real estate listings.
I got up at 7:00 this morning .. lather rinse repeat ... How long do you have to do this for?
Having a favorite homeless person is weird, right?
If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
If you catch me in the morning in a yoga position... more than likely I passed out drunk that way.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
Hey Dog Walkers, technically, that dog can walk on its own. What it can`t do is pick up it`s own poop. You`re just a poop collector.
I can`t tell if I actually have free time, or if I`m just forgetting everything...
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
Friends are like slinkys, they are twisted as heck but you can`t help but laugh when they fall down the stairs.
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.