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Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
I`m really sick and tired of food having calories...
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t speak sarcasm has to comment and ruin it.
Today`s Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bullsh*t.
Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds
I`d rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.
I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace.
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me again tomorrow on I`m still fat Wednesday
Some parts of the world use Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. Me? I just want you all to know how delicious my sandwich is.
NASCAR pit crews are always retiring. Let it sink in: now laugh
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.
Don’t you hate it when spiders bite you and you get like zero superpowers?
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.