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Son to mom: why should I sweep the floor? Mom to son: do you want to be an Olympic Curl champion?
If Monday had a face... I`d punch it.
Chuck E. Cheese is just a casino for little kids.
Got kicked out of Ziggy`s. " supposably" your not allowed to stand on their scales. Says I broke them. On the brighter side I weigh 135900 grams
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where is my phone?" and it would be like, "It`s under the couch, dumba$$."
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
I enjoy short walks to the fridge
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
I don`t drink to forget my problems. I drink because I survived them!
I`m fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes.
Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you`re 3 and your parents are idiots.
I`m sorry I said your head looks too small to power your body.