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They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.
Sorry I`m late, the floor was lava
Just been informed that my spirit animal is Eeyore.
Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask how you’re still married.
Why is it called cliffhanger and not
What do you call a black woman with braces?... A Black and Decker P@cker Wrecker!
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it’s AM. Google thinks I’ve got my life together.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
Depending on the boob, the Bra is either the best or worst invention ever.
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.