Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

My head says “go to the gym” but my heart says, “stay on the internet forever and eat!”
My internet was down for almost 4 mins, I’m ok but the 911 operator was a total b!tch about it!
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
Contrary to popular belief, it`s actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
Life is Hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
A man made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind ... And now, we wait...
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
Do you think we like to sing in the shower because we all love a good soap opera?
Imagine if someone`s name was Gurt. You`d be all "yo gurt!" .. funny? no? Ok (._.)
I haven`t gotten laid in so long, you`d swear I`ve been wearing Crocs all this time.
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.
I was always a believer in evolution....then I spent an hour at Walmart and now I`m not so sure