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Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
Do you think retailers in Colorado have seen an increase in the sales of Easy Bake ovens and Brownie mix?
Pet stores should post "Chameleon" on empty reptile cages just to see how long people would stand and look.
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
I`m not saying I hate you, but I`d unplug your life support to charge my phone.
From now on, all of my posts will be written in Morgan Freeman`s voice. Please re-read this one to make sure it`s working.
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose beer.
From now on, I will be replacing the word `sh*t` with `sugar` in my facebook statuses, so that I don`t come across as being so f*cking vulgar all the time.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Guys, if she says she’s crazy, she’s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
Gee I wish I could push the envelope... But it`s stationary.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away.