Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"You`ve got a friend in me." - Cannibals, probably
The pollen levels are so high this year that it has the crackheads trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed...
My favorite part of the day? The food part.
You can turn anything into a compliment if you`re delusional enough.
My Memory.....The Second shortest thing I have.
Are you reading this from a toilet? Iām writing this from one.
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot
Imagine how fun Pringles would be if the cans were spring-loaded.
Has anybody tried unplugging Congress and then plugging it back in?
When I become famous I`m not going to tell anyone.
When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
It`s been discovered that 1% of the population is allergic to Gluten. The other 99% are sick and tired of hearing about it......
I don`t drink these days. I`m allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.
Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.