Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
Pepper spray: The perfect way to end an annoyingly long conversation.
My wife even says "NO" in her sleep. The force is strong with this one.
Times change When I was a kid, werewolves and vampires were very scary. Now everyone wants to have sex with them
The real reason I`m not a superhero.... Pockets, I need my pockets.
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
Don`t blame the holidays, you were fat in August.
I hope I die alone. I mean, you`d have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note “Don’t eat me”.Now there’s an empty plate and a note “Don’t tell me what to do”
Some people`s lives are like open books... Mine is like a trashcan without a lid.
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
Hitting the lotto is a sure way to stop hating on Mondays...
We think therefore we must be, but are we?
I always look out for #1 ... unless I`m walking thru my yard, then I look out for #2